Leaving your Child Home Alone

Child Safety - Leaving your Child Home Alone

Child Safety - Leaving your Child Home Alone
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Is Your Child Ready?

Whether it's a snow day home from school, an unexpected business appointment, or a child care arrangement that fell through at the last minute, situations are likely to arise where you feel you have little choice but to leave your child home alone.

It's natural to be a bit anxious when you first leave your child without any supervision. But it doesn't have to be something for which you and your child feel unprepared. With some planning — and trial runs where you remain close by — you can approach the situation with confidence.

Handled well, staying home alone can be a positive experience for your child, too — one that helps him or her gain a sense of self-assurance and independence.

It’s obvious that a 5-year-old can't go it alone, and that a 16-year-old can probably handle it. But what about those school-aged kids in the middle? It can be difficult to know when kids are ready to handle being home alone. Ultimately, it comes down to your judgment about what your child is ready for.

You'll want to know how your child feels about the prospect, of course. But often kids insist that they'll be fine long before you feel comfortable with the idea. And then there are older kids who seem afraid even when you're pretty confident that they would be just fine. So how do you know?

In general, it's probably not a good idea to leave a child younger than 10 years old home alone. Every child is different, but at that age, most kids don't have the maturity and skills to respond to an emergency if they're alone.

Other Factors to Consider

Think about the area where you live. Are there neighbors nearby you know and trust to help your child in case of an emergency? Or is it mostly strangers? Do you live on a busy street with lots of traffic? Or is it a quiet area? Is there a lot of crime in your area?

It's also important to consider how your child handles various situations. Here are a few questions to think about:

* Does your child show signs of responsibility with things like homework, household chores, and following directions?
* How does your child handle unexpected situations? How calm does your child stay when things don't go his or her way?
* Does your child understand and follow rules?
* Can your child understand and follow safety measures?
* Does your child make good judgments about what kinds of risks to take?
* Does your child know basic first-aid procedures?
* Does your child follow your instructions about staying away from strangers?

Other Factors to Consider

Think about the area where you live. Are there neighbors nearby you know and trust to help your child in case of an emergency? Or is it mostly strangers? Do you live on a busy street with lots of traffic? Or is it a quiet area? Is there a lot of crime in your area?

It's also important to consider how your child handles various situations. Here are a few questions to think about:

* Does your child show signs of responsibility with things like homework, household chores, and following directions?
* How does your child handle unexpected situations? How calm does your child stay when things don't go his or her way?
* Does your child understand and follow rules?
* Can your child understand and follow safety measures?
* Does your child make good judgments about what kinds of risks to take?
* Does your child know basic first-aid procedures?
* Does your child follow your instructions about staying away from strangers?

Discuss Emergency Scenarios

Try to regularly discuss some emergency scenarios — ask what your child would do if, for example, he or she smelled smoke, a stranger knocked at the door, or someone called for you while you're gone.
Before You Leave

Even after you decide that your child is ready to stay home alone, you're bound to feel a little anxious when the time comes. But some practical steps taken in advance can make it easier for you both:

* Schedule time to get in touch. Set up a schedule for calling. You might have your child call as soon as he or she walks in the door (if coming home to an empty house), or set up a time when you'll call home to check in. Figure out something that's convenient for both of you. Make sure your child understands when you'll be able to get in touch and when you might not be able to answer a call.

* Set ground rules. Try to set up some special rules for when you're away and make sure that your child knows and understands them. Consider rules about:
o having a friend or friends over while you're not there
o rooms of the house that are off limits, especially with friends
o TV time and types of shows
o Internet and computer rules
o kitchen and cooking (you may want to make the oven and utensils like sharp knives off limits)
o opening the door for strangers
o answering the phone
o getting along with siblings
o not telling anyone he or she is alone
Additional Tips

* Stock up. Make sure your house has everyday goods and emergency supplies. Stock the kitchen with healthy foods your child can eat, and leave a dose of any medication that your child needs to take. In addition, leave flashlights in an accessible place in case there's a power outage. Post important phone numbers — yours and those of friends, family members, the doctor, police, and fire department — that your child might need in an emergency.

* Be sure that you:
o Create a list of friends your child can call or things your child can do when he or she is lonely.
o Leave a snack or a note so your child knows you're thinking of him or her.
o Make up a schedule for your child to follow while you're away.
o Make sure the parental controls and filtering systems, if you have any, are programmed for the Internet on your computer and on your television.

* Childproof your home. No matter how well your child follows rules, be sure to secure anything that could be a health or safety risk. Lock them up and put them in a place where your child cannot get to them or, when possible, remove them from your home. These items include:
o alcohol
o prescription medications
o over-the-counter medications that could cause problems if taken in excess: sleeping pills, cough medicine, etc.
o guns (if you do keep one, make sure it is locked up and leave it unloaded and stored away from ammunition)
o tobacco
o car keys
o lighters and matches
Ready to Go

When you're ready to leave your child home alone for the first time, there are other things you can do to help both of you get comfortable with the transition.

You might have an older teen or a friend of the family come over to stay with your child. Don't call that person a "babysitter" — tell your child that the person is there to keep him or her company. You may also want to let your child invite a trusted friend of the same age to come over, and propose this as a trial run for later solo stays. Be sure to let the friend's parents know that you won't be home.

And don't forget that pets can be great company for kids who are home alone. Many kids feel safer with a pet around — even a small one, like a hamster, can make them feel like they have a companion.

So cover your bases and relax. With the right preparation, and some practice, you and your child will get comfortable with home-alone days in no time!

Reviewed by: Kate M. Cronan, MD